Pass-Along Plants and The Golden Rule
Report From PIA – February 13
What goes around, comes around, we’re fond of saying. Whether it’s literally true that what we give is returned to us or not, believing in the golden rule, to treat others as we want to be treated, is a wise ethical code.
I wish more gardeners kept this in mind when giving away clumps of aggressive plants. These pass-along-plants are often pass-along-problems, so I understand why fellow garden writer Stephanie Foster says, “Never accept a plant someone else wants to give you.” There’s a reason they have it to give away.
If we gardened by the golden rule, would we want to pass the necessity to control, pull out, or frequently divide a plant on to other gardeners? I think not. Perhaps our generosity has more to do with not being willing to throw plants away than it does a belief that we’re sharing a perennial that’s worthy for every garden.
What goes around comes around was what I thought when friends asked if I could care for their baby for three days in April. Be a faux-grandmother for three days? I’d be thrilled.
This reminded me of the time my first-born was a toddler, and Katharine Houk, who had a child the same age, took my son for two mornings a week so that I could work in the studio. When I told her that I felt badly that she was doing all the childcare, and I wasn’t helping her out, she said, “These things all even out in the end.”
So when I was helping my elderly neighbors with their bills recently, and Mel said, “I hate having to depend on you for all of this, C.L.” I started to reply as Katherine had responded to me. “Oh, Mel,” I said, “I’m happy to help you, and when I’m your age…” but before I could say that I’m sure that someone would do the same for me, Mel chimed in, “I’ll come back!”
I hope to have Mel’s sense of humor when I’m in my nineties, to never pass along a problem plant, and to strive to live by the golden rule.
Is gooseneck loosestrife a pass-along plant or a pass-along problem?
February 13th, 2010 at 5:36 PM
I have to say that one of the things I love most about gardeners and gardening is the amazing generosity I see and experience all the time. So many of the plants in my garden are legacy plants and I love them even more for that. I have neighbors that leave beautiful irises on the side of the road and now I have them too. I think of their anonymous generosity every time I see them blooming in my yard. I totally agree that aggressive plants should be given only with huge neon warning signs and invasives, well no one should even have them. But it has amazed me that plants, much like baby clothes are handed around and around, not only saving tons of money, but carrying important memories and ties with them.
February 13th, 2010 at 5:58 PM
Kerry,
Lovely thoughts… I too love the connections from garden to garden, person to person, that generous gardeners and their plants create. I’m nevertheless cranky about the number of Siberian iris that my husband brought home from a friend’s house. I can only think of dividing them all in three years, while my husband only thinks of how they’ll look when in bloom. Perhaps it’s good that “opposites attract”
February 14th, 2010 at 7:10 AM
Avid gardeners tend to give away whatever there’s an abundance. It’s imperative upon the recipient to know what they’re accepting and refuse invasives. The same lovely gardener who gave me loropetalum seedlings and variegated hydrangea cuttings also urged on me Popcorn trees. I knew better.
February 14th, 2010 at 7:19 AM
My neighbor passed along a clump of gooseneck loosestrife to me! I had to laugh seeing your picture of that big stand of it above. I am thinking I’ll divide the little passalong clump and put them in two large pots. I hope that will contain it (it spreads by runners, not so much by seeds I have read). I do like the arching white blooms. My neighbor is sweet, generous, and I so enjoyed her impromptu visit when she brought the “gift” over, reminding me of the pleasure of neighborliness, but really…. gooseneck loosestrife?
February 14th, 2010 at 8:04 AM
Thanks for this post (and link). And so we each in our own way continue to “pay it forward!”
Re plants that are a mixed blessing: my bane is bittersweet, which was not given to me but was here when we bought the house. Incredibly aggressive!
And in the spirit of Valentine’s Day, hurrah for husbands who appreciate beauty and give flowers!
February 14th, 2010 at 8:18 AM
It’s true, Nell Jean, that we gardeners want to share our abundance. Maybe our generosity should come with disclaimers, for plants like GNL, however. When we lived in Spencertown, the bane of my gardening was Bishop’s weed, which came in with some peonies or a daylily that a friend shared with me. I battled it for the ten years we lived there, and I’m sure that if the current owners haven’t taken a backhoe to it, this plant now owns their garden.
Katharine – Yes! I’m so pleased that I’m married to a man who loves flowers and gardens as much as I do.